Terms & Definitions
Asexual
Aromantic
Asexuality = experiencing little to no sexual attraction. Asexuals (or “Aces”) have been known to exist since Ancient Rome; they were identified by Alfred Kinsey in 1948 as “Category X” and were included in the queer community since the Stonewall Riots, but started to become organized in the 2000s, largely due to online networks such as AVEN. Note that attraction does not equal libido; some aces enjoy sex or masturbation, while others are indifferent or avoid it. Aces may choose to date, but often need to communicate their physical intimacy needs & boundaries more than others.
Aromanticism = experiencing little to no romantic attraction. Aromantics (or “Aros”) were first named on an AVEN online forum board in the early 2000s, though are known to have existed long before this term made an appearance. Many aros fulfill their emotional needs through platonic relationships. Aros may experience sexual attraction; they may choose to date or engage
in behaviours that society views as romantic, or they may avoid romance, depending on personal preferences. They may also enjoy consuming romantic content/media without a desire to participate in it.
A-Spec
Recognizing the spectrums of diverse personal experiences, A-Spec is an umbrella term for anyone who experiences little to no sexual or romantic attraction. Unlike more culturally recognized terms like “gay” or “bi”, a-specs rely heavily on the concept of split attraction and often feel the need to specify both their romantic and sexual attraction, since these types of attraction aren't presumed to align.
For people who do not identify as asexual, aromantic, or a-spec, the opposite term is "allo" (allosexual or alloromantic). This is used to describe experiencing socially-expected levels of sexual or romantic attraction.
Split Attraction
The concept of split attraction allows people to clarify how they experience attraction by breaking it down into different types of attraction and then who they are attracted to. For many people, romantic and sexual attraction aligns, but this model gives people freedom to explore. A person may be demiromantic & bisexual, a heteromantic asexual, or other combinations. Explore your own attractions using our Split Attraction Worksheet!
Categories of attraction often overlap and can change from person to person. Here are some categories that are commonly recognized (some people may conflate them or recognize others):
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Sexual Attraction: A desire to engage in sexual activities with another person. What is considered a "sexual activity" depends on personal interpretation and might not align with cultural definitions of sex.
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Romantic Attraction: A desire to engage romantically with another person. What is considered "romantic" depends on personal interpretation and might not align with cultural definitions of romance.
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Platonic Attraction: A desire to form friendship or pursue mutual interests. This is often based on personality and other associations one might have with a person.
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A related attraction is Emotional: A desire for emotional closeness and feeling a sense of connection or vulnerability with another person.
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Sensual Attraction: A desire to interact with another person in a tactile way and share sensory experiences, such as touch (e.g. cuddling) or sound (e.g. listening to their voice).
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A related attraction is Aesthetic: An appreciation for a person's appearance or presentation. This is often compared to how one would admire a painting in a museum.
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Intellectual Attraction: A desire to be intellectually engaged with a person, such as having deep conversation, debating opinions, or seeking to understand how a person thinks.
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Spiritual Attraction: An appreciation for a person’s beliefs/values/morals or for how they affirm your own beliefs/values/morals. This may or may not be linked to religious identity/experience.
A-spec Labels and Microlabels
Labels & microlabels provide options for how a-specs can further explore their orientation. It’s important to note that not everyone chooses to use these! Some people feel relieved to find a label or microlabel they relate to; it may provide a sense of community and help better understand their experience or explain it to others. Some may feel it's unnecessary, irrelevant, or overly complicated. The choice to use labels & microlabels is personal, and your experience is valid either way.
Grey
Grey- is a prefix attached to the front of an orientation to describe how attraction manifests, such as greysexual or greyromantic. Greys are situated in between allosexuals/alloromantics (who experience attraction) and asexuals/aromantics (who do not). Greys experience some attraction, but at a lower level and less frequently than is considered “typical”. This manifests in many ways, such as attraction being rare or weak, a desire for it to not be reciprocated, or a desire for an emotional attachment to be present first. Some people also identify with grey terminology as a way of expressing an attraction that is not quite what one expects but is the best fit.
Demi
Demisexual and Demiromantic orientations are considered under the “grey” umbrella explained above. Demis don't experience attraction until there is an emotional connection present. The development of an emotional connection to someone could form over days to years, depending on the person and context. Likewise, the definition of what an emotional connection includes depends on the people involved.
A related label is Fray (Fraysexual/Frayromantic). This is the opposite of Demi, where sexual or romantic attraction is initially present but fades after an emotional connection is formed.
Autochoriso / Aego
The term autochorissexual was first coined by Anthony Bogaert and is derived from “autochoris”, translating to “identity-less sexuality”. It is a subset of asexuality which is defined as a disconnection between oneself and an object of arousal. It may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to participate in sexual activities. Autochorisoromanticism is the romantic equivalent of this, referring to romantic fantasies instead. More recently, the term has been replaced with Aego (Aegosexual/Aegoromantic), but still holds the same meaning.
Other Labels
These are just a small selection of labels & microlabels! Others include Flux (Aceflux/Aroflux, an orientation that fluctuates in intensity), Spike (Acespike/Arospike, having sudden bursts of attraction), Litho (Lithosexual/Lithoromantic, where one experiences attraction but doesn’t want it to be reciprocated), Placio (Placiosexual/Placioromantic, where one enjoys performing sexual or romantic behaviours for others but doesn’t want it to be reciprocated), Ficto (Fictosexual/Fictoromantic, where one only feels attraction towards fictional characters), and many more. There are comprehensive lists online, such as AUREA.
Related Terms
Amatonormativity
Coined by Elizabeth Brake, amatonormativity is the belief that sexual and romantic relationships are linked, special, and should be prioritized above other relationships, such as friends or family. It also presents marriage as a milestone; it assumes that everyone is pursuing marriage and puts pressure on those who remain single, especially by choice. These beliefs stigmatize aromantics and asexuals, as well as individuals who are non-monogamous or single by choice.
Chrononormativity
A similar concept is Chrononormativity, first used by Elizabeth Freeman. It is the belief that people must follow an assigned chronology or timeline in order to be successful and have a good life. This timeline includes specific milestones in a specific order (e.g. marriage > homeownership > having children). Again, this impacts not just aromantics and asexuals, but anyone in society whose vision for their own life involves different goals and priorities.
Aphobia
As a direct result of societal norms such as amatonormativity and chrononormativity, people on the asexual and aromantic spectrums face discrimination. This is referred to as aphobia. It can include verbal comments and microaggressions (e.g. being told “You’ll change your mind when you meet the right person”), potentially dangerous medical assumptions (e.g. doctors withholding antidepressants because “it will lower your sex drive even more”), and on the most extreme, coercion and physical assault in an attempt to “fix” the a-spec individual. Aphobia is also embedded within mainstream 2SLGBTQIA+ culture; it’s common for aces and aros to hear that they “don’t belong” or “aren’t queer enough”, or to feel excluded from “love is love” campaigns that only acknowledge sexual/romantic partnerships. To learn more, check out this Reducing Acephobia poster, made by a SAAA member.